We all know breaking up is hard to do. But unless you’re in one of the few teen romances turned happily-ever-after, breaking up is an unavoidable part of life. And while it’s up to you to decide what your individual break up style is, if you want to avoid future bad relationship karma, you’ll adopt a few breakup basics.
Choose the right time.
Avoid holidays and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries at all costs. Do you really want your ex remembering your insensitivity every time that day rolls around? No you don’t.
Statistics show that most students break up during summer break. For everyone else, Monday seems to be the most popular day of the week for breaking up.
Pick an appropriate place.
The less public, the better. Don’t do it in a place where the person on the receiving end isn’t going to feel especially vulnerable. Avoid these break up locations at all costs:
At a wedding.
In a car.
In a restaurant or nightclub.
Do it in person.
If the relationship is relatively new, maybe you can get away with breaking up over the phone. Maybe. But come on, if you’ve been out on more than a handful of dates, isn’t that kind of harsh? Do the right thing and end the relationship in person.
Having one final talk together is a good way to bring closure to the relationship.
As painful as it may be, a relationship-ending conversation might enable you to learn something about yourself and set the stage for something better in the future.
You may try to be sparing their feelings, but it will blow up in your face when you’re caught. You will be considered untrustworthy, and your reputation will falter. Your friends might back you up, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world will.
Be honest but sensitive.
No one likes to get dumped. But we at least appreciate the truth when it’s over. Unless, of course, the truth is you’ve stopped finding them attractive, you’ve met someone better, or that you’re just plain bored with the relationship.
There’s no point being negative. Try to exit with as much decorum as possible. Even if there’s bad blood, always take the high road. You’ll be glad you did.
Keep your emotions in check.
Don’t seem too happy about the break up: you’ll come off as mean-spirited. Just be kind, caring, and considerate.
Some people don’t handle rejection well. Some people yell, scream, or cry. But it doesn’t mean you should react to their meltdown. Remember, rejection is tough. You’ve already got the status of being the dumper. If their tantrum escalates, get out of there! Don’t wait around for the messy aftermath. Only try to ignore when the conversation is yelling and screaming, try to be and remain civil in all other situations. Be honest and sensitive and try to listen to their emotions and act upon them.